A few months before my son was born, Luc made a huge show of proposing to me. In true sleezy Luc fashion, he also wouldn’t stop talking about how he spent months looking for the highest quality ring he could find. He even showed me some receipt (likely one he made on his computer) so that I would believe that he paid 7k for the ring. (Men take note: Never tell a woman how much you paid for her engagement ring. It’s trashy and in poor taste.) Everywhere we went, he would grab my hand and show off that stupid ring as if it was some show of his status. This always embarrassed me because I knew that most people didn’t give a rats behind about my ring and this show just made him look weird.
Many people say that when the woman breaks off the engagement she should give the ring back. I didn’t give it back. I made the decision that when he chose to rape my sister and steal all of my belongings (he refused to let me back into the house to get my things)- I was keeping that stupid ring. Besides, I wasn’t going to ever put myself at risk of being killed by returning it to him. Was I wrong in this?
Anyway, this stupid ring has been haunting me since I left him a year ago. I always knew I needed to sell it, but I knew nothing about diamond rings and I was a little worried that he might have stolen it. The longer I hung onto it, though, I felt like it was a curse.
Yesterday, I received a mob style email from my legal team. They told me that I owed them 7k and that since I was unable to pay them, I clearly could no longer afford to litigate Luc. (Note: Luc’s testified that he had only paid her about 600 dollars, yet she is still working for him.) I have paid my lawyers by completely draining my retirement, savings, and every paycheck amounting in total to over 150k. After all that, they have dumped me and I am headed toward financial ruin. So with this dilemma looming over me, me and baby boy set out on a mission this morning to sell the damn ring. I knew I wouldn’t get much for it, but pawning a ring I don’t want seemed like a better option than begging folks for money. (Begging was what my lawyers suggested I do)
After stopping for breakfast at Dunkin Donuts (baby boy’s favorite breakfast spot), we went into a small jewelers. I had already done enough research to know that Luc had lied about the value. (No shocker here – I know) When the man behind the counter looked at it, he said, “well, its clarity enhanced and there is a huge crack in it – I will give you 600 bucks.” At first, I thought he might be taking me for a ride and conning me, but he allowed me to look at the diamond under a microscope and there it was – cracked and crappy.
At this point, I was holding baby boy who was having a usual baby conversation with me. When the salesman explained to me that clarity enhanced basically meant that someone altered the diamond to make it appear like something it was not, I broke out into laughter. The man looked at me like I was nuts, but I couldn’t stop laughing. Baby boy started laughing too. I then explained to the man that this description of the ring was not a surprise and that, in fact, it made total sense. I took the 600 bucks for the ring because, frankly, I didn’t want the piece of crap anymore.
That ring was a very telling symbol of our relationship. It looked good on the outside, but in reality it was just a big piece of crap. Luc was pretending to be someone he wasn’t from the moment he met me. Sometimes I wonder if Luc even knows WHO he is at all. He is so busy lying that he might not even have any sense of self at all.
Today was a big step for me. I felt like I had taken back a piece of my life. I let go of something that had been weighing me down. I had been angry about that ring. It wasn’t just the ring, but it was the fact that I will never be proposed to for the first time again. He took that from me. The ring is yet another symbol of his lies and his poor intentions.
I walked out of that store with the real diamond – my baby boy. We left the fake diamond behind. We got back into the car and talked all the way home. I told baby boy about how mama is determined to get back on her feet and give him the life he deserves. I told him about how much I love him. I told him about how important it is for me to teach him how to be a real man someday.