I Have An Agenda, And I Am Not Ashamed Of It

I am going to say something that shouldn’t be a newsflash to anyone who has ever read my blog, heard me speak, or been anywhere near me in the past few years.  I HAVE AN AGENDA.  It is not hidden, and I refuse to make any apologies for it.  Want to know what my agenda is?  It’s simple really…I am passionate about children.  I truly believe that Prince chose me to be his mother.  I was chosen because he knew I would fight for him, and he knew I would speak out to protect his memory.  He knew I would fight for change – that I would fight to make it so that no other children would suffer the way he had to suffer.

Since my son was murdered, it seems like not a day has gone by where I haven’t heard about the brutal murder of another child.  This week, I heard about another shocking case that happened in Fredrick, MD.  A little girl named Anayah Williams was murdered by her father.  As her father was beating her to death, her mother watched.  As if the murder itself isn’t shocking enough, possibly the most disturbing element of this case is that when the girl was only two months old she had been removed from the home for having a fractured skull.  Instead of recognizing that these parents were dangerous, our sick and twisted system put the girl back into the house (for the sake of reunification with her birth parents).  She was murdered shortly after her return.

I would love to be able to say that I am shocked when I hear these stories.  Our system fails children.  Those who are tasked with the protection of children are more concerned about protecting the parental rights of abusive parents.  They are more concerned with clearing their case load then potentially saving a child’s life.

Recognizing abuse:  Most children who are abused don’t even know they are being abused.  If you ask a child who has been abused their entire life if their parent abuses them, you will most hear something like, “no, he/she was a good parent.”  If a child is used to being beaten with objects, having things thrown at them, and getting beaten to the point where physical marks are left, they might not see these things as abusive – this is their normal.  While children who live through abuse might not be able to determine that their situation is not the norm, there are certain tell tale signs.  For example, if a child is often seen with bruises that are beyond the occasional toddler bump, something might be wrong.  Another tell tale sign is when you see a child who is clearly afraid of their parent.  While it is normal for a child to respect their parent, a child should never be afraid that they are going to be physically harmed by their parent.

Doing something about it:  Another unfortunate reality that I have noticed since the death of my son, is that many people choose to ignore child abuse if it isn’t happening directly in their home.  When they hear of these child murders on television, they talk about how sad it is for five minutes, go hug their own child, and thank God it isn’t their reality.  What people fail to realize is that the child who is being beaten up next door will one day show up on your doorstep.  He will be dating your daughter, friends with your son, or maybe even a parent to your grandchild.  Child abuse is not someone else’s problem.  It is a society problem, and in order to end child abuse everyone must take responsibility.

A few months after I left Luc, I went back to his old neighborhood and spoke to some of the neighbors.  I asked a few of them if they had ever witnessed anything disturbing.  One man mentioned that he had witnessed Luc abusing a child in public, right outside this man’s house.  When I asked the man why he didn’t report it, he said, “it wasn’t any of my business, so I didn’t get involved.  I almost said something, but I didn’t want his anger to turn on me.”  The man then told me to keep my head down, and that it would all work out for the best.  Since Prince died, I often wonder what people like this man would think now.  Would he regret never reporting the abuse?  Would he look at my situation and think that things worked out for the best?

Recently, I was accused of having an agenda – as if this is a bad thing.  If you are as passionate about an important issue as I am, you should be proud that you have an agenda too.  I will never hide from my agenda.  I will continue to have this agenda until the day when I stop hearing about children dying from abuse.  I don’t want to just stop hearing about it because I stop listening.  I want to stop hearing about it because I want it to actually stop happening.

Please join me – please have an agenda too.

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. CQ, you are SO right about this being a societal problem. It’s all around us and we often don’t even realize what might be going on next door. Those kids who just seem “weird”? I now know it’s a good possibility they’re being abused. That new kid at school who was there for awhile and then gone just as quickly as he/she showed up? Quite possibly a victim of abuse. That mom who is rarely seen outside her home unless her husband is with her? A possible victim. It’s everywhere. It’s shocking. You are a wonderful voice for Prince – bless you for standing your ground and being a flag-bearer for this issue. For those who might want to hear first-hand from actual victims about what it’s like to live in constant fear for your life, this book can help you understand (to the degree possible if you’ve never been abused): http://www.amazon.com/The-Kids-Next-Door-Memoir-ebook/dp/B00I2E0QTG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395848047&sr=8-1&keywords=the+kids+next+door+a+memoir+of+sorts.

    I used to be active in Child Advocates in my old town; I need to get involved with it here in my new hometown. Bless you for the ongoing reminders about that! :-)

    • Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with nor will I gain anything from the purchase of the book suggested above, but I am friends with one of the victims. <3

  2. I’m glad you have an agenda, and I hope you show up on TV, radio, newspaper and magazines and promote that agenda. TEN children die every single day from abuse in this country, and NO ONE talks about it. The world is still talking about a 17 year old who was beating on a man and tragically was shot, but no one talks about little 18 month old Takota Hasty who was beaten and tortured by his mother’s boyfriend – and probably her too. His body was covered with bruises and cigarette burns when he was finally taken to the hospital where he was pronounced brain dead. His father had contacted CPS just a week prior because of a brother who had bruises on his head. No one talks about how the mother and boyfriend were initially charged with involuntary manslaughter which carries a sentence of 2-5 years in prison. No one talks about the fact that they would have faced a stiffer sentence if they had been caught abusing an animal. Or take my grandson, who was violently shaken and had his head bashed in at the ripe old age of 3 weeks, and who now is sentenced to life as a baby because of the damage caused to his brain – and his abuser was never even formally questioned by police. His older brother was also abused the first 19 months of his life. No one talks about abuse, and no one talks about the fact that abusers are rarely punished, and when they are, the sentences they receive are less than if they had hurt an adult or an animal. Child abuse is a national epidemic that is swept under the rug by virtually everyone, including the powers that be. Last year, during Child Abuse Awareness month (April), not one word was said by Obama about this epidemic, but he certainly got up and talked about Autism. Currently there is a law – Kilah’s Law held up in senate – it passed the house and is held up in senate because it does not have the support of one single Democrat! I have begged and urged everyone I know to contact their senators and ask WHY? Kilah Davenport was a victim of child abuse as a baby and died a couple of weeks ago at the age of 4. We live with this fear daily – you never know when some complication of child abuse (i.e. seizures) will kill a child you love. So I have to say thank you, thank you for having an agenda, and please keep having that agenda, and please continue to use your influence to try to make people care.

  3. Hello Cappuccinoqueen,
    I am so happy you are forging ahead and have many good things going on in your life!

    I read your post and wanted to say, after reading all that you wrote and knowing your history with Luc (ugh don’t even like typing that) and Prince, I am grateful you have an agenda. That is not a bad word. I want to say your agenda has you! As you say, Prince chose you and I believe that as well. If it is true, you were chosen to carry this through and your agenda is like having the baton or torch passed to you. I know the torch came with much pain but I am sure your agenda is to be carried out for the greater good and I would be proud, as much as it has hurt, to carry that torch, that baton.

    With all blessings and goodness Hera, I wish for you everything you need to be successful in all that you do.

  4. As you know, the judicial system is broken across the board. So many people are victimized but afraid to speak up. You are right to expect something to be done about the issue of child abuse. It’s unbelievable that children are put back in homes where they have been abused. How helpless and sad they must feel.

    I have an agenda too. I am a stalking victim and I am determined to raise awareness on the issue of stalking.

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